Ljubljana and Venice Without a Clue

All right folks, say a fond dovidenja to eastern Europe and say a big ole’ bonjourno to western Europe. We didn’t plan to visit either of these cities from the start so what follows is our rather improvised exploration. Hold onto your butt, dear reader, we are headed to the Schengen Zone.

P.S – for the sake of record, we also stayed a night in Rijeka, Croatia on the way from the Croat coast to inland Slovenia. It was really just to line up the bus schedules and we arrived late and left early, so not much of consequence occurred.

Ljubljana

Our first day in Ljubljana was a gear and personal maintenance day. We were so dirty from hiking in Croatia that we had to pre-wash our clothes by hand in the sink before washing them again in the machine, and the procedure needed to clean Jon’s shoes was down right industrial. We took a few incidental pictures just hanging out in downtown, but out first day in Ljubljana wasn’t very touristy.

The following day, refreshed and (relatively) clean, we returned to our regular programming and found a free walking tour. We learned a little about Slovenian history and explored the quite attractive, and imminently walkable, downtown.

The history of Slovenia basically boils down this – everybody likes Slovenia, and everything in the city pretty much follows from that. While the rest of the Balkans spent a thousand years fighting each other and being stuck in the middle of fights between neighboring empires, Slovenia was over there chillin’ and trading and being nice. Plenty of wars came and went, but Slovenia never seemed to be on a disputed border or too close to any prolonged conflicts. As a result they don’t got no ancient beef with nobody, and the country is more concerned with art, learning, and poetry than with fortresses or walls. 

By way of example, Ljubljana is the first city we have been to with statues of a poet and fairy tales lovers in the city square instead of a famous general. It also has a huge university of 40,000 students with free tuition for all Slovenians, keeping in mind the population of Ljubljana is only 280,000. And unlike Bosnia, where you might say the war never ended, Slovenia achieved independence from Yugoslavia in just 10 days during the aptly named ’10 Day War’. 

The remaining attractions on the tour were mostly buildings and bridges designed by Ljubljana’s favorite architect, Joze Plecnik. My understanding is he likes columns that don’t hold up anything, wide bridges, and open air markets. 

After the tour we swung through the Slovenian history museum (which inexplicably has what is believed to be the earliest known wheel on display, as well as a fun portrait display), Ljubljana’s best church, and the bougiest shopping mall. It’s impossible not to stop for a coffee by the super cute canal at some point. The whole city is beautiful, clean, and lively. 

The next day we walked up to Ljubljana castle to take the tour and check out the view. Perhaps unsurprisingly, touring a castle that wasn’t involved in much conflict makes for an only passable tour, but the view from the top is great. They say you can see a third of the country from the top (not the city!) on a clear day, and we certainly enjoyed seeing the big snow capped mountains in the distance. There’s also the ‘Castle Grapevine’, which is a graft from the oldest grapevine in the world – which is also apparently in Slovenia. We wouldn’t have even realized what it was except I was leaning against the display waiting on Jon and a man told me to get my tourist ass off his vine. 

Later, as if we needed more confirmation that Ljubljana was the cutest capital city ever, we stumbled into a giant open air food market that I would best describe as ‘Taste of Ljubljana’ and had some delicious street food and beer. 

That night we made our final, and most culturally important, stop in Ljubljana at Slovenia’s one and only gay bar. The drag show was as wonderful as it was tragic, but we loved the authenticity and sense of community in Slovenia’s tiny gay scene. The whole bar scene was actually fire, which we guessed makes sense in a town with 40,000 college kids. 

The next day it was off the Venice! 

For being such different places, Ljubljana and Venice are quite close together – barely a couple hundred miles and and short bus ride separate them. Thusly we arrived in Mestre, a mainland suburb of Venice, in the afternoon on a sunny day. We stayed in Mestre for the remainder of the day because we needed a train to reach actual Venice proper. We eventually ended up with some authentic looking pizza, which is about the only cheap food in Italy, and followed up with sitting in the grass at the local park and drinking wine afterwards, which is hardly more expensive than drinking bottled water in Italy.

In the morning we took the train into Venice proper, which is like riding through a portal into another world and time. You board the train in some bland Italian suburb in 2019, but you get off in some bizzaro version of an Italian city where all the roads are canals and it’s closer to 1600. There’s the grand canal like right there, bustling with ferries and gondolas just like in the pictures, and spanned by one of Venice’s signature arched bridges. 

The illusion isn’t perfect, of course, but there’s a constant sense of wonder in Venice from the second you arrive that is only partly spoiled by the masses of tourists and the grumpy Italians. 

That morning we also took (yet another) free walking tour but, for once, it kinda sucked. We did learn a bit about the growth and culture of the Venetians, like how they used to bleach their hair with urine apparently and what’s up with the masks, but the tour didn’t go to any of the major attractions and somehow dodged anything interesting at the minor ones. 

After the tour we set off towards one of the cities’ many museum districts and immediately became lost in the unfathomable tangle of streets, canals, bridges, and less identifiable thoroughfares that connect the many islands of Venice. Trying to follow Google maps on your phone in Venice is like playing with one of those children’s toys where you tilt the platform around and try to make the little ball navigate the maze into the hole.

At length, we visited Maritime museum and the city armory. The Maritime museum is best described as the world’s grandest collection of model ships and ship paraphernalia. They had some humongous ship cannons to see and some well preserved ship parts, like wheels and rudders which were neat. The city armory was similar but with a smaller budget.

Finally, we took our first and last water taxi tour through the Grand Canal. The boat was jammed with tourists but we somehow got a good spot by the railing. Check out the Rialto bridge! 

Next came day 3, our big day for the A-list attractions. Let me tell you, Venice had some show stoppers. The mosaics at St Mark’s Basillica are meters tall but the mosaic work is so intricate you can still make out their saintly expressions. The Doge’s Palace is a fitting for a world class naval power and you can feel the giant wealth of the Venetian Empire practically dripping from the golden ceilings. The view from the plaza bell tower is one of the best of its kind thanks to the unique structure of the city, and you could spend all day up there marveling at the boat traffic and the complex waterways. 

They never let you forget that they aren’t just some common Italian city covered with Roman ruins – they are Venice, and they ruled over a world-class trading and maritime Empire just a couple hundred years ago. The Pope used to call them for favors, darn it! Their ships powered Mediterranean trade and proved decisive in multiple battles against the Ottomans. 

In short, few cities impress with the same sense of wealth and power that Venice commands, and each attraction just further convinces you that there used to be rich folk and then there used to be Venetian rich folks. 

On our 4th and final day we rounded out the complete tour of giant Venetian churches and wandered through some weird art displays. Quite by coincidence, we were there during International Art Exhibition, and many smaller churches and building were occupied by art galleries and displays. Some were interesting and lively, others were just stupid modern art that clearly consumed far too much time to produce and conceive. The churches didn’t disappoint though. 

 

After 4 days blundering around the city we decided it was high time for a good Spritz. We looked up the guide book’s finest bar for tourist drinks and set out. The Spritz is, of course, the signature cocktail of tourists. They serve so many that we noticed restaurants serving prosecco on tap. It’s radioactive orange and goes great with the beautiful canals. 

So folks that’s our tale of two cities – one cute and relatable for lovers and the other the grand seat of a fallen empire so full of tourists that it’s accelerating the sinking. 

See you in Spain!